Random.

I rarely post anything on my blog, so I thought I would stop by for a minute and let out a few random words for no particular reason. What I say will hardly matter, since nobody even knows this blog exists.

Today was a good day. I woke up early and cuddled my boyfriend before he went to work. I fell back asleep for a couple hours. When I woke up for the second time I got dressed and went to the gym. I worked out for a good hour or so, and then met up with my good friend Shelly for a minute. Seeing her is always nice, because she is always in a good mood and her positive vibes always wear off on me. After seeing her, I went home and had the best shower ever. I got ready and then went to my interview at ABK, which was a great interview by the way. The lady who gave the interview was also named Ashley, and she was very nice. I found out that the job is pretty much perfect for me, and I pray that I get it so that Jesse and I can finally move out into our own place, get married, and hopefully have kids. After the interview I went home and cleaned my house, which is always therapeutic. And now, here I sit at the computer rambling on for no good reason about my day which was fairly insignificant and mellow, yet a good day indeed.

Jesse is on his way home from Roseburg now. He will probably be here in less than an hour. I'm glad, because I miss him dearly just like I always do when he is at work. He is truly my best friend.
I've never known a man so sweet, caring, kind, charming, handsome, interesting, or as beautiful as he is. He is a great guy, person, son, brother, boyfriend, and best friend.

Anyways I think that will be enough for now.

poems

Poems aren't just thoughts that rhyme, 

They are confessions that change with time.

-Ashley Green

dream

Life is beautiful.

Each moment is a gift.

Love with all your heart.

Be kind to everyone you meet.

Don't ever give up on your dreams.

Life is but a dream.

Your born,

you live,

you die.

In the blink of an eye.

So enjoy everything,

the way you are supposed to.

But never forget why you're here.

Each of us has our purpose,

and even if we don't know it now

it will all eventually be clear. 

life

life is a passing phase

a blink of an eye,

just a moment in time,

and your back in the place

from which you derived.

-Ashley Green 

There's always situations that you never want to be in.
You can't always choose what situation you are in, but you can most definitely choose how you want to react to the situation. Some people forget that they are in complete control of how they view their life. They might see things that happen as "Just the way it is" but in reality, that's not how it is at all. It's all in the way you look at it, the way you choose to see it, that affects your life.
If you want to be happy,
you can be.
If you want to make new friends,
you can do that too.
If you have a dream,
YOU CAN MAKE IT A REALITY.
I used to think that good things just came to lucky people. I used to sit around and wonder why I couldn't have a good life, why I couldn't be happy. I thought that happiness was just something that happened to some people, that it wasn't in reality, just a choice.
I even got to the point where I accepted the fact that I didn't have a good life. I came to believe that that is how I would always be and there was no reason to feel otherwise.
I would love to be able to tell you when it all came to me, the moment when it just "clicked"... The moment I woke up from that sad nightmare I called living, but I cant. I just know that somewhere along the way, perhaps not all at once but in small doses,
I learned the truth. And the truth is that good things happen to everyone, and you can have a good life if you want to. It's really as simple as that. And no matter in what situation, or what state of mind, you and only you control your emotions and your thoughts. Only you... We are all human and we all know how easy it is to let other people, other things, affect the way we feel. But it's a choice.

Landfill

My brain is embedded with memories from the days of my past.
I can see that one day and the way the sky looked from the top of that mountain, so tall and far away.
I can still see the look on your face, like you've finally discovered something new. You made an effort to hold my hand.
Reach. Clasp. Lock in grip.
You would walk with my hand in yours as if I owed you something.
You were the pen and I was the paper, you made me into whatever you wanted me to be.
My body was your canvas, the destination nobody wanted to go.
I was off the beaten path,
hinges undone like a piece of woodwork
still begging to be done.
I was the child I had once been before,
eyes wet with hatred and envy.
Shoes untied, hair a mess, dirt stained rosy red cheeks,
because it was cold outside and I didn't put my jacket back on.
I was always doing things wrong.
But I don't want to be that child anymore.
I want to be the captain of this ship,
I will go in whatever direction I please.
My body is the vessel and my heart is on my sleeve.
I can't breathe with you so close to my face,
I can smell the irony of your proposition
I see the lies that you forgot to mention
and I'm done playing the fool in this newly formed tradition
living your life is no competition.

Mother, by Ashley Green

stuborn, stuborn
why must i be so stuborn?
mother you have told me once,
no need to tell me twice
but you hardly take that advice.
warn me once more,
make it ever clear to me now,
i am not who i was before.
no longer that tiny infant
eyes wet with neglect.
no longer that little girl
hair cut short around those round cheeks,
dimples you rarely seen.
no longer that young lady
desperately begging for attention.
no longer that teenager
desperately hanging onto that last
sliver of hope.
too thin to grasp,
it fell from my grip
and im left on the ground
trying to recover it.
i am now a woman
believe it or not.
you cannot take that away from me,
i've earned it.
my own mind, my own time.
my own feelings, my own ryhme.
if you need some understanding
i'll lend you mine.
and we can go on pretending
everything's just fine.

-ashley green