Landfill

My brain is embedded with memories from the days of my past.
I can see that one day and the way the sky looked from the top of that mountain, so tall and far away.
I can still see the look on your face, like you've finally discovered something new. You made an effort to hold my hand.
Reach. Clasp. Lock in grip.
You would walk with my hand in yours as if I owed you something.
You were the pen and I was the paper, you made me into whatever you wanted me to be.
My body was your canvas, the destination nobody wanted to go.
I was off the beaten path,
hinges undone like a piece of woodwork
still begging to be done.
I was the child I had once been before,
eyes wet with hatred and envy.
Shoes untied, hair a mess, dirt stained rosy red cheeks,
because it was cold outside and I didn't put my jacket back on.
I was always doing things wrong.
But I don't want to be that child anymore.
I want to be the captain of this ship,
I will go in whatever direction I please.
My body is the vessel and my heart is on my sleeve.
I can't breathe with you so close to my face,
I can smell the irony of your proposition
I see the lies that you forgot to mention
and I'm done playing the fool in this newly formed tradition
living your life is no competition.